“How Does She Do It All?” Is The Wrong Question

Today in the Working Daughter Facebook Group, a member raised the issue of women who seem to be able to do it all. She wanted to know what we thought of a suggestion to ask seemingly successful women what they don’t do, instead of asking how they accomplish so much.

I am a proponent of that idea. I readily tell people I was able to write a book while working full time and raising two kids because I don’t do housework. Ever. And I didn’t even know that JK Rowling did the same thing. screen-shot-2016-12-15-at-12-20-06-pmIt just made sense to me. I could spend my time pursuing a dream, or I could vacuum. It wasn’t a difficult choice. I also don’t diet, send Christmas cards, or volunteer for the PTO. I prefer to put my energy toward other things. I even wrote a manifesto encouraging other women to shed some of their less productive tasks, and thoughts, too. You can check it out HERE.

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While it’s great to turn that question of “how does she do it” on it’s side, it’s even more powerful to ask a better question. The important question isn’t how someone does what they do, it’s WHY?

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Isn’t it so much better to live our lives and make our choices based on what matters most instead of how many hours there are in a day? If we try to live our life based on the hours, we’d be lost. You know why? According to the Census Bureau’s American Time Use Survey, the average daily tasks a woman with children, a job, and an aging parent, does each day adds up to just over 25 hours a day. 25! So it turns out we all don’t have the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce. The math just doesn’t work, so don’t do it.

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Besides, understanding why a woman does what she does is so much more inspiring than learning that she leaves her beds unmade, isn’t it? And identifying your why – what matters most to you, will give you the energy and the dedication you need to make things happen, regardless of how crazy your schedule gets or how long your to-do list becomes.

For help on identifying what matters most to you, read:

Finding Balance: Identify Your Non-Negotiables

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How To Be Good Enough: Tips for Managing Caregiver Stress

 

 

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